I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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