shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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