i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
