i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
