Do vagina's smell?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
