watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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