last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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