its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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