"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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