we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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