a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
