well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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