You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
