Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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