the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a search helicopter?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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