is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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