absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
