Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
pop tarts are not kleenex
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
