Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
