if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My vagina just recognized that song.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
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yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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