He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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