is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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