So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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