Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
