he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
