Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
