you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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