I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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