And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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