There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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