I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My breasts were aching with rage.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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