New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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