I wish I only lived at night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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