i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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