apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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