We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Come on in and take your pants off
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