Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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