I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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