can u get pink eye on your cock?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
