She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
