That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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