just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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