So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
