wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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