oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
