I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize