whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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