PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize