Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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