she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
