the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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