the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
