I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
