Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
