I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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