my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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