yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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