The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
